Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man” (Luke 5:8).
The story of the astonishing catch of fish in Luke is also the story of Jesus’ call of Peter to become a disciple. It contains what photographers have called the “decisive moment” that tells the whole story. The look on Peter’s face is not just about the catch of fish where all night there had been no fish. He has just experienced a theosophy, an encounter with God in the man standing before him in the boat. And the light of that revelation makes transparent his own naked sense of inadequacy, his sinfulness. “Depart from me, Lord,” he says to Jesus as he falls to his knees.
The call of Peter is not unlike other biblical calls: Moses at the burning bush; Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel; the conversion of St. Paul. In each case, the person being called feels the floor of their very existence fall out from beneath them. They are overwhelmed by their own unworthiness and inability to do what they are being invited to do. The call is what empowers them to go beyond themselves to a new kind of life. What the evangelicals call “conviction of sin” clears the way for the gift of salvation, to make sure the person knows it is not something they have earned or deserve.
There are human equivalents to this experience. Perhaps the most exhilarating is the “look of love” two people see in one another’s eyes that invites them into a mutual relationship they know is pure gift, total acceptance that defies logic and sets aside all inadequacy. I choose you. Or a moment of unconditional forgiveness that wipes clean some offense and restores a life-saving friendship. In either, case, love calls us to a deeper level of responsibility and loyalty. There is no turning back now.
We know the rest of Peter’s story a life changing journey of both courage and failure that will unite him to Jesus in both life and death.